I‘ve been everywhere, man.
I’ve been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert’s bare, man.
I’ve breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I’ve had my share, man.
I’ve been everywhere.

The Dastardly or Dreadful Duck hasn’t been quite everywhere, but he’s been around! And it must be male with those bright colours.

It all started Christmas 2004 when my extended family had our traditional ‘Tacky Gift Exchange.’ I don’t know who got the paper mache two piece duck or how I wound up with it, but it was the start of a game that has gone on between my sister Shelley and I for 10 years now.

I don’t even know WHY we started hiding it in each other’s homes. At the time I was living in Ontario and Shelley in Nova Scotia. I was home for Christmas that year and hid it in their outdoor Christmas tree before I left to go back to Ontario. She eventually found it, took it to Florida with her to visit our parents and when my parents visited me, suddenly the duck was in my home! I took it with me when I went home that summer and successfully left it with her.

The following Christmas, I stayed in Ontario, as I opened one of my gifts, there was the duck! This went back and forth for a few years. When i moved back to Nova Scotia, she came to the first service at my new church, she had a present for me afterwards: You know it was the duck!

We have lost count of how many times it has been back and forth. At one point we tried to make a list and put it inside the duck, but was too much like work. Besides, you have to be spontaneous in hiding it, you never know when an opportunity will arise. Over the years we have developed increasingly sneaky ways of getting into each others houses. And have had to establish rules: The duck can only be hidden on the main floor, it can’t be hidden in the garage, shed or outside. We are highly suspicious of each other and monitor each other’s whereabouts when visiting.

This past summer Shelley called me triumphantly; she had found it after months of searching! Then she went on vacation and made two mistakes: leaving the duck out in the open and asking me to feed her cats while she was away. I took pictures of it in various places around her house, posted them to her Facebook page and then hid it again! She said that was against the rules! All’s fair in love and ducks!

It’s been at her house since then… I fully expected her to find it at Thanksgiving… Shelley, that’s a hint!

Lyrics by Michael J. Faubion, Geoff Mack Copyright: Rightsong Music Inc., Belinda Music (Australia) Pty. Ltd.